How to cheat just hookup
We falsely believe that when the sex dies, the relationship has also died.The reality is the opposite; when the sex dies the relationship has just begun. Not only is it failing them, but it's a "socially compelled sexual incarceration" that can lead to a life of anger and contempt, or so says Eric Anderson, an American sociologist at England's University of Winchester and author of the provocative new book, (Oxford University Press, .99). An undiscovered affair allows them to keep their relationship and emotional intimacy, and even if they're busted it's a lot easier than admitting that they wanted to screw someone else in the first place, he writes.In his study of 120 undergraduate men, 78 percent of those who had a partner cheated, "even though they said that they loved and intended to stay with their partner." Contrary to what we may think, most men aren't cheating because they don't love their partner, he says; they cheat because they just want to have sex with others. Monogamy's stronghold on our beliefs -- what he calls monogamism -- brings ostracism and judgment to anyone who questions or strays from its boundaries.That doesn't make sense to Anderson, who wonders why we stigmatize someone who has a fling more than couples who divorce -- throwing away a marriage rich in history and love, upsetting their kids' lives -- over something like sex.Monogamy isn't the only "proper" way to be in a relationship, and he says it's time that society finds "multiple forms of acceptable sexual relationship types -- including sexually open relationships -- that coexist without hierarchy or hegemony." It's especially important for today's young men, for whom monogamous sex seems more boring than in generations past because of easy premarital sex and pornography. Anderson was kind enough to answer my questions by email: Your study includes just 120 undergraduate men, straight and gay; isn't that too small a sample to really know what's going on for men?Infidelity does not break marriages up; it is the unreasonable expectation that a marriage must restrict sex that breaks a marriage up.One of the reasons I wrote the book is that I've seen so many long-term relationships broken up simply because one had sex outside the relationship.
So cheating for sex may be "just about the sex" for him, but not for his partner.
This gives us the long-term emotional stability we desire psychologically, alongside the hot, carnal sex we desire somatically.
It makes much more sense than lying and cheating , or the difficulty of breaking up with a loved one simply because you want someone else's body for an hour.
Long-term partners may have more intimate sex (most just have very little) but when men see a guy or girl who turns them on, it's not intimate and meaningful sex they are craving. How good a relationship can one have when there's deception, especially since you say after men cheat spontaneously, they are more likely to plan cheating?
Honesty is good sometimes, and horrible other times.